just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
