He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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