hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
