Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
