he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You're so nebulous sometimes
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Randomize
