she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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