Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?

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(937): View more from Ohio

How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?

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(936): View more from Texas

Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.

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(530): View more from California

he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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(503): View more from Oregon

still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona

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(530): View more from California

So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?

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