sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
