weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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