what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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