How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
