You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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