She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
