I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
do nipples grow back?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
