normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
