If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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