the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm too high and old for this...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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