If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
