Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
