right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
