Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
