Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
