ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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