I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
