at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
