I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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