And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How external is "for external use only"?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
