Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
