I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
