Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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