You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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