omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
