Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Even my vagina gasped.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
