Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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