God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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