oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
