i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
