i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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