Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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