Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
