Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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