Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
