She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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