what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
