Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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