Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
