I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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