Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
