I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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