is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
